[Chobits so kawaii!]^-^ Dream Weaving v.3

2004-03-30T02:15:00.000+08:00

How I Met Death (or Death is a Woman). I feel like I'm fucking up big time with writing.

Argh.

2004-02-16T00:15:00.000+08:00

The Last Tryst. New vignette posted. Leave a review there if you find that things need to be ironed out.

I apologize for not touching this blog as often as I should.

Damn.

2003-11-15T00:06:00.000+08:00

She awoke to find him packing his bags.

And thus began another empty morning. Another one of those times where she'd be staring into space, contemplating on "what ifs" and "if onlys".

From her place on the chair, she continued to watch him, her dark brown, fastidious eyes fixed on the corded muscles of his arms and the strength of his back as he bent over his open duffel bag once again to sort out clothes, her toes curling up beneath the feet of her cotton pajamas, legs drawn up to her chest in a protective position.

I'll say goodbye to love
No one ever cared if I should live or die

There was no sign of hesitation in the way he went about, his socked feet padding softly on the carpeted floor of the room.

The room that they used to share.

The room that they would no longer share now that he was leaving.

Silence continued to loom over them, louder than ever. From the open bathroom door, droplets from a leaking pipe fell to the tiles with soft plinks, though to her, they sounded louder than a pin dropped in a soundproof room.

He never even stopped - didn't even stop - to look back at her even as she shifted - a bit uneasily now - on the chair. Her heart ached a little that he didn't even attempt to make small talk, but then again, that was how he was. He was never one for things like that.

He moved around like he had a purpose, ultimately focused on some unseen goal ahead.

Time and time again
The chance for love has passed me by

This wasn't the first time someone had left her. There were others before him, some with no faces, some with no names...some had come and gone in the blink of an eye, others she thought would stay, but she was always wrong...

She had lost count of the men...the women...did it even matter anymore?

No, she told herself. It would never matter.

She was always too strong for any of them to think of staying. Her control over her life was something they could never understand or hope to understand.

And all I know of love is how to live without it
I just can't seem to find it

His eyes were as ordinary as hers. The same dark brown, deep-set and balanced by level eyebrows. She remembered reading somewhere that men with his features showed a lot of intolerance for fools. But when she looked close enough into them, they were flecked here and there with amber, burning with a fierce intensity as they evenly held her gaze - and GOD, if she weren't so smitten by the way they bore into her, as if trying to search for the missing pieces to the puzzle of her soul.

He had hawklike features, what with the way his eyebrows seemed to meet over a straight nose when he scowled. His features were rather elongated, his cheekbones high and sculpted like that of Michaelangelo's David. Even if he hardly ever smiled, his lips always seemed like somewhere between a sneer and a smirk - a rather deadly combination in her eyes and that of others. His jawline was strong, balancing his face perfectly...so perfectly in fact that he had this uncanny ability to turn straight men gay and lesbian women straight. He would have been a candidate for GQ if it weren't for the scars...

His body and his face was full of them, some from so far back that he could not remember anymore, some were the results of the life he used to lead. It frightened her at first that someone like him could have led such a dangerous past, but after a while, she had come to accept that part of him.

So I've made up my mind if I must live my life alone
I know it's not the easy way
I guess I've always known

It would have been a beautiful relationship, but he longed to go back to the streets, saying that he would never be totally free of his past and that he'd always live to fight.

"So what are you fighting for?" She had screamed at him one dreary morning when she found him sitting by the bathtub, binding a deep gash in his arm. "What the hell are you trying to do to yourself and us?"

A small sigh came from his parted lips as he stood up with some difficulty, ignoring the blood that trailed down his arm and fell to the tiled floor. Already the wound had opened up and though he was trying to hide it, she saw the flicker of pain in his dark eyes. "Would you understand my reasons?"

She hesitated, swallowing the bile in her throat when she realized that she still didn't have any idea about who he really was. "I would try..."

"I guess this relationship was doomed from the start..." he whispered, staggering past her and out the door to get his gun.

I'd say goodbye to love
There are no tomorrows for this heart of mine

Had he actually been right from the start?

Or was he just preempting failure on his part just to make her feel better?

She knew she should have been crying her eyes out by now, but she suddenly realized that she felt nothing THAT strong. The only thing she felt was a sort of resignation...

Suddenly, he was standing in front, looking down at her as he swiftly dressed, nimble fingers buttoning up his favorite black longsleeved shirt - the one that she had given to him five months ago when things had been different...

His voice was cold...colder than ice and devoid of any emotion. "I'm leaving my gun here for you. Use it as you deem necessary." He stopped when she gave a half-shrug. "You remember what I taught you, right?"

"Everything," she replied, meeting his gaze coolly.

Surely time will lose these bitter memories
And I'll find that there is someone to believe in and to live for
Something I could live for

In a flash he had hauled her off the couch and had a deathlike grip on her small wrists. Suddenly she was afraid of him, afraid of the way his eyes flashed angrily at her, his lips drawn in a terse, thin line.

"Don't. Try. Sarcasm. With. Me," he bit out through clenched teeth. "I have my reasons for doing this so DON'T start."

Struggling was futile, so she remained perfectly still, her eyes drawing in his features with the same fascination as when they first met, marvelling at how his jaw worked, his temperament hovering near uncontrollable and yet not quite there.

"I know what your reasons are, even if you don't tell me...And I think you already knew that I'd never tie you down..."

All the years of useless searching finally reached an end
Loneliness and empty days will be my only friend

He slowly released her, dropping his hands to his sides as he continued to stare down at her. "I know...and I'll always be grateful for that," he replied, his voice softening. "But we can't be together."

She nodded slowly, mutely, as he resumed packing his belongings. 'No...we can't be together...'

It was the initial thrill she felt from having a relationship with a man as dangerous as he was that made her want him to stay. And then there was the fact that she wanted to be stronger and he was the only one who agreed to teach her.

She had never really felt love. Not once in her life. Oh, her family had tried to reach her, had tried to give her love as a child, but even then she had felt closed off, alone and unwanted. And no matter how much she forced herself to love them back, she felt it would all be a lie...

As she grew older, there were others who came into her life and she tried hard to learn to love them, but it was always the same. They would eventually grow tired of trying to reach into her and then they'd leave.

He had stayed the longest in her life.

And now he was leaving...but not for her.

From this day love is forgotten
I'll go on as best I can

She knew she wasn't a machine of some sort, but she couldn't understand why it was so hard for her to really and truly love someone. She wasn't scared of anything. Not being alone. Not taking risks.

Certainly not of love.

What lies in the future is a mystery to us all
No one can predict the wheel of fortune as it falls

There may come a time when I will see that I've been wrong

But for now this is my song

Slowly the closet was emptied... drawers were pulled open and the pile of clothes on the bed diminished until there was nothing left sitting on it, except for a few telltale wrinkles on the sheets.

And it's goodbye to love

I'll say goodbye to love

2003-11-02T21:34:00.000+08:00

Updated one fic. Other updates to follow. ^^

2003-10-30T03:29:00.000+08:00

New layout. Layers have gone screwy and the pic's gone screwy too. Will fix later. x_x

2003-10-14T21:20:00.000+08:00

I have NOT updated and I feel mighty bad... ;_; Anyway, here's something I think might cheer people up...

Snippet from my new fic "As the Rain Falls" (AU Eriol x Tomoyo fic...YES, I have decided! ^^ )

"I love you, Daidouji," Eriol said with some difficulty.

He sounded almost constipated to her. Either that or he had something in his mouth that he was finding extremely difficult to swallow.

Tomoyo shook her head sadly and sighed. "No, Hiiragizawa, you don't. You're just awfully familiar with me."

She would have loved to believe that fairytales did come true, but in this day and age AND at HER age of twenty-five she was already as jaded as everyone else was. So was Hiiragizawa. Which was exactly why she would never believe him. Besides, even if they were dancing around each other in circles, she knew he would never give in and she wasn't about to, either. It was a game they played...whether unwillingly because of circumstances or they were just masochists.

Yes, he was familiar with her. How could he not be when they had sex almost everyday? She was his personal assistant, not just in the office, but in his bed. She didn't have his heart. Not one bit of it. How could she when there was none? He was cold, calm and businesslike...

And arrogant. Don't forget arrogant.

'Not to mention he has a way with words,' she thought ruefully as she gathered the last of her things and placed them neatly in the cardboard box on her desk.

He made no motion to help her even as she struggled with it in her arms while trying to open the door. She shut her eyes as a numb feeling spread through her, the realization that this would be the last time she'd ever see him again hitting her like ice water splashed on her face. As soon as she stepped out of her office, she would have nothing more to do with him...

"I can't live without you, Daidouji..."

Tomoyo made no move to turn around and reply to him. She just shrugged her shoulders awkwardly and walked out of the office, tears burning her eyes as she headed to the elevator and out of his life...

2003-09-15T15:01:00.000+08:00

Snippet for 'As the Rain Falls'...unknown fanfic category as of yet

Dark thunderclouds were starting to form overhead, covering the sun that was fast bleeding into the horizon and giving way to evening. She sat on a park bench, a lonely figure contrasting starkly against the hues of pink, red, and orange. Around her, people hurried home, some muttering desperately under their breaths a swift prayer to the sky that it would not rain until they got home, others bringing their umbrellas out just in case it suddenly poured. Nobody wanted to get caught in the rain.

Except her.

She chose to welcome the rain...

She lifted her face heavenwards, her dark eyes focusing on the nimbus clouds that were starting to swirl furiously, as huge thunderclaps sounded and bolts of lightning flashed from a hundred kilometers away.

'Why am I here?'

It started as a slight drizzle, one she could barefly feel. Then it got stronger until she felt heavy drops pelt down on her skin, almost bruising it in its tenderness. Already, red marks were forming, ugly against her skin's pallor.

Still, she sat there, not wanting to move, as a numbing cold spread through her system.

'Why am I here?'

The ache she felt in her chest grew and she stood up, keeping her face lifted up to the sky as the rain continued to drench her. She was waiting for something she did not know of...she was sitting on a park bench without any inkling as to why she was there...

She didn't know anything...

All she was aware of was the rain.

And that it hid her tears...

2003-04-19T12:22:00.000+08:00

I thought maybe I should put up something here. Just an idea for my SOTN fic. (Harle, I think you know what I mean. ^^ )

~¤~¤~

More thoughts from the diary of Alucard Adrian Tepes, son of Count Vlad Tepes Dracula, Lord of Castlevania...

Perhaps the only reason why you have kept me alive is because I remind you of Lisa. Because I am the only link you have of her, the only reminder to you that there still exists some humanity in you, though I highly doubt you still have the ability to love. There is nothing I sense in you. Nothing at all, except the blackest of hatred.

I know you loved my mother once. I believe I grew to love her too, in a way that was more than right. And for that, I suffer as well. For centuries as I slept, visions of her death, of how cruelly she was burned at the stake for crimes she did not commit, were the only things that came to me. And I wept... Oh yes, I did weep, father. I wept because I could not save her, I wept because I lost her, I wept because I somehow knew that she was your only hope to change.

And with that last glimmer of hope out of your life, madness took over. Did you grieve for her the same way I did? You never comforted me. You never even dared to lift a finger to help me. And when the villagers cast me out because I was a heretic, no one was there. And I grew to hate you. I cursed the blood flowing in my veins. And I wondered if there was a way for me to be saved from my own madness.

It was through the Belmont clan that I was blessed with friendship. And it was they who helped me through my grief. It was they who gave me hope. And through them, I was able to honor my mother's last words to me before she died.

There is hope for me yet, father. I shall dwell in the land of the living with Maria by my side. And we will both be happy. I am determined to eliminate the bloodlust in me. Mock me if you must, father. I was never a full-blooded vampire, and neither was I ever a full-blooded human. I am a dhampire. A being who lives in between both worlds. But the choice is mine to make.

And I choose to be human...

2003-04-10T14:34:00.000+08:00

I made a new layout for this blog, ut I'm not uploading it just yet... I love this one too much to part with it. :P

2003-03-15T11:59:00.000+08:00

Since I owe everyone something, here goes:

"Deck the Halls" (Christmas gift fic for Meemee-imouto, Refe-imouto, Les-chan, and Skuld-imouto) is nearly done, but I'm STILL editing.

"Santa Anzai and his Reindeer" (For the SD fans) is also undergoing a lot of changes. I'm injecting more sarcasm into it and cruelly self-editing.

"All in the Game" - Chapter 16 is almost, ALMOST done! I swear! Just a little more tweaking here and there and I got it all up. I'll probably upload all the updated fics at the same time to make up for everything. :P

As for the other fics I haven't mentioned, don't worry, I'll bash my muses into working on them. :)

2003-01-31T07:42:00.000+08:00

'S okay, now, Meemee-imouto! Yesterday, when I was trying to access my fic log, another blog would pop up in place of this one. Must be that internet worm everyone's talking about. :) I'm relieved I can actually see it now. :PPP

2003-01-30T13:08:00.000+08:00

What the HELL????

What happened to my fic log????

2003-01-23T18:43:00.000+08:00

Tomoyo x Eriol x Kaho fic is well underway. ^_^ Whee!

To quote Skuld-imouto, "Of COURSE Kaho is bad! She has no right to steal Eriol away from Tomoyo!"

Which is why I fic Kaho as an evil bitch and Tomoyo as the one girl who can save Eriol from his misery. But I will need to read up more on Maria Makiling and Keats so I can figure out how to get everything in order. I have a feeling this will be a fantasy fic.

And I think it will be rated R...

Now, I will also try to update my other fics because I have a lot of people after me. :P

2003-01-21T13:59:00.000+08:00

Meh...

I hate this computer lab... It's so friggin' cold!

And I lost the speech that i made for my uncle... WAAAAAH~!!! TT______TT

Life stinks.

2003-01-20T13:33:00.000+08:00

Everyone else found that particular dream funny.

And now I'm starting to find it funny, too.

Yeah, nothing like a good laugh. I should make fun of myself in this fic just so I can feel good. Thanks to Orli, I have found a way to make myself happy.

When all else fails, make an SI (self-insertion) fic and make fun of yourself as much as possible.

That's a barrel full of laughs just waiting to be released. =^^=

2003-01-19T17:21:00.000+08:00

What do you do when a certain lemming newbie actor who was suddenly catapulted into the limelight because of his portrayal of a fantasy character in one of the greatest fantasy movies ever made starts popping up in your dreams?

Simple.

You write fic.

And you hope that ficcing can exorcise him from your subconscious so you will once again have room for all your bishounen to romp and play in.

Such is the case with Orlando Bloom.

And since he is such a bloody bastard for doing this to me, I will make sure that I can bruise his ego in my fic in the hopes that he never comes back.

Yesssss, my precioussss... I shall badly bruise Orlando "Sex on Legs" Bloom.

What are the contents of this fic? I shall not reveal them to you until my friends have finished adding the scenes they insist on adding to my interrupted dream. And then when it is done, I shall post it. But here are a few things in that dream:

1) contact lens
2) coffee
3) countryside

You people do the math and make the connection. :)

2003-01-18T13:15:00.000+08:00

Ekai-imouto, we are blessed! Our darling Meemee is a godsend to us! Meemee-imouto, you are wonderful forever! I will think of a way to repay you, though I don't think it will be enough for everything that you have done! You are truly amazing. Truly TRULY amazing! ^_^

--------------
A few minutes later...
--------------

Yes, I think I have come up with a way to repay you, Meemee-imouto! :) I shall write you fic! Tomoyo x Eriol x Kaho... Yesh, it shall be a BIG ficcie! But first, I shall finish the Christmas gift fics... Sheesh! I'm SUCH a procrastinator. Anyhoos, here's the idea for the new ficcie:

"Much cannot be said about her beauty. To look at her face is to find despair for she possesses a loveliness so fatal that your entire being is soon surrendered to her...you will burn on your pyre as you look into her eyes...you will feel your soul start to wither and die...but you will not fight it because you will fall perversely in love with her. Such is the fate for all men who behold the Lady Without Mercy...

Such was his fate when he bound himself to her...

And I could do nothing but watch in misery.

~From the diary of Daidouji Tomoyo~

Well? Whatcha think? :) I'm getting inspired again! ^^ The idea is based on the poem by John Keats, "La Belle Dams san Merci" and one other version of the legend of Maria Makiling (not the romantic version, I'm afraid)...

2003-01-12T16:49:00.000+08:00

Which LOTR Actor Is Your Ideal Husband?
brought to you by Quizilla

WAAAAAAAAH~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! First it was the Elf, then the fuck toy, now THIS?!?!?!?!?!?! *Weeps* Muhh....I'm bleeding now, I'm fookin' bleeding!!!

2003-01-12T07:27:00.000+08:00

Geh.

FINALLY! The posts appear!

2003-01-11T18:42:00.000+08:00

C'mon!!! Appear, you stupid post, you! Appear I say!

2003-01-11T11:18:00.000+08:00

Muh...

Haven't been blogging here lately... ><

Ficcies will be ready soon. I think I'm getting the inspiration back. ^^

2003-01-10T20:31:00.000+08:00

Haven't been posting here for a while... *sigh*

Will have the ficcies ready soon... :)

2003-01-04T12:17:00.000+08:00

Boy Trouble

You jerk! You pathetic piece of shit!

How can you think of me that way?! How dare you call me a whore and a slut when we've been good friends?!?!?! How can you so quickly assume that we were once an item when we never were?!?!

I hate you now...

I hate you so much that I don't know whether I should cry or not. You were once my confidante and now you dare text me and insult me, calling me an easy girl?

Why do you equate my honesty with selfishness? I told you the truth: THAT I WAS NEVER IN LOVE AT 16!!! AND THAT I AM IN LOVE WITH LIFE AND WRITING!!!

Why can't you see that there never was an US?!?! You and I were just friends!!! And that last text of yours really hurt me. Just because I know that I can do a lot of other things aside from writing doesn't make me masyadong bilib sa sarili as what you texted last night! Why are you doing this to me?

You know what?

I don't care anymore.

Fine. If you want to think of me that way, so be it.

But I have never felt so hurt in my life... You were a good friend, but you ruined it. You brought your insecurities upon yourself, not me.

2003-01-03T18:28:00.000+08:00

Imouto-chan, thank you for giving me the URLs of those hosts. You're a darling! ^-^ Once I finish tweaking everything, I will upload the site little by little. :) Then you can have a look-see. It's not that fancy or anything, but that's because my design skills are awful yet. :P

2003-01-02T10:39:00.000+08:00

*Sigh*

I'm trying VERY hard to finish my gift fics, but all I'm doing is staring at the monitor. I'm beginning to look like an owl! >< Not a very good way to start 2003. :P

Imouto-chan!!! Your layout has, once again, left me breathless!!! And you, my other darling imouto-chan, have done the same thing with your new layout! My God, they're so pretty! I'm in tears now... My imouto-tachi have wonderful, WONDERFUL layouts!!!

I'm still downloading brushes to tweak The Divine Pantheon Website so I rushed around with my blog layouts. :P Hopefully the site will be up soon. I just need to find a webhost since Tripod sucks!

2003-01-01T02:42:00.000+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! ^-^

All my greetings are in the main log! Check 'em out there! :P

2002-12-31T02:23:00.000+08:00

*sigh*

Okay...blog's been tweaked... ><

Somehow, I can't let go of the blue and black colors... It's hard to part with them. Maybe version 3 will see something new. ^^

2002-12-30T18:46:00.000+08:00

Argh! I'm SO in tears!!! Chris R. has the most beautiful layout I have ever seen!!! Mou! she and meemee imouto-chan are SO VERY incredible... Dang! And here I am, busting my brain, trying to understand css... >_< I have to buy myself a book. Even a cheap one so I can at least feel happy with my layouts everytime I blog.

2002-12-20T09:37:00.000+08:00

*Ahemahemahemahem*

I have a new imouto-chan to take under my wing! It's... *drum roll* ...the one and only Meemee!!!

Yes, she's my imouto as well as Refe-chan now! They're both wonderful girls and very lovable, ne? That's why I plan to take good care of them! ^^

2002-12-19T13:40:00.000+08:00

I would LOVE to have you as my imouto-chan! *huggles* The more the merrier, ne? ^_^ I promise to protect you and look out for your well-being to the best of my abilities, though I tend to think that I'm not a very good oneesan sometimes. *sweatdrops*

Hehehehe...

Love you, dearest! ^^

2002-12-16T18:42:00.000+08:00

I've went and contracted her fixation. I am now announcing that I will make a Draco/Ginny fic for her because she is RUTHLESS. She's just as RUTHLESS as SHE is with her fixation. Why I do this, I wonder... I don't even have a solid fixation that I can rub off on these girls! No wait...I DO have a fixation to SOTN and Alucard! Maybe I could rub it off on them... Anyways, Ekai writes good angst, so she'd be able to write Alucard well. He's a tragic character anyway and Ekai is good with tragedy. Harle can write Alucard on an adventure since she's very good with epics (see "The Summoners").

Yosh! I'll rub off my SOTN fixation on them! Hah! Then we can be even!!! ^^

In other news: Word for the day is "RUTHLESS" :P

2002-12-15T17:24:00.000+08:00

Hooray!!!! It's snowing!!!

Ehehehehe....^^

Vive le vent, vive le vent, vive le vent d'hiver!
Qui sen va sifflant soufflant dans les grands sapin verts
Oh!

Vive le vent, vive le vent, vive le vent d'hiver!
Boule de neige et jour de l'an
Et bonne année grand-mere...

2002-12-14T20:24:00.000+08:00

Eriol [slash] Tomoyo fic snippet that I promised:

Hiiragizawa Eriol could feel the December chill as he walked home to his mansion after bidding his students and the university goodbye, wrapping his scarf around him, and tightening his coat to ward off the cold. Why his students and co-teachers seemed so bright and eager to go home for the holidays was a mystery to him.

When he was a kid, he never really understood why the month of December seemed to lift the spirits of the people around him, when all he ever felt during that month was cold and miserable, these feelings often accompanied by bouts of flu or sinusitis. He hated the snow, he hated the drastic drop in temperature...he hated everything about the season. Period.

And why people loved to play around in the cold, wet stuff, he never really understood. Logic argued that their happiness would only be temporary and it would be a lot more practical if they just avoided frolicking in the snow so as not to catch pneumonia and become even MORE miserable. No amount of thick clothing or attempts to bundle up would battle the frost. It was pointless. The best thing to do, he reasoned, was to just stay WITHIN the four walls of the house, and keeping warm.

Yet everyone in Tomoeda seemed to love winter the most. Everyone, that is, except him.

He cursed the snow. He cursed the way it seeped into his boots and wet his toes as he trudged on home. He cursed the snowflakes that had started to fall on him. He cursed the entire winter season, calling it the very bane of his existence.

In fact, he was so busy cursing that he accidentally bumped into someone who could hardly be seen with the pile of gifts in his/her arms.

“OOF!!!”

Eriol snapped out of his stupor and bent over to help the stranger with the fallen presents. Only when he heard a voice did he finally realize that the person he had bumped into was a woman.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, sir. I apologize for not watching where I was going.”

Pushing up his glasses, Eriol shook his head. “No, Daidouji, it was my fault for not keeping all four of my eyes on the road,” he said, immediately recognizing the soft, melodious lilt of her voice.

Jerking up in surprise, Daidouji Tomoyo let out a half-hearted chuckle, readjusting her woolen cap as she stood up with some difficulty, balancing the packages in her arms. “I should’ve known it was you, Hiiragizawa. Are you out to gift-shop or window shop?”

“Neither,” came the stoic reply. “I was just heading home.”

Tomoyo nodded, though her curious violet eyes seemed to drill twin holes in him in askance, as she tilted her head to the side, left eyebrow raised at an inquiring angle. “I see...You just came from the university, I gather.”

Eriol nodded. “That I did. It’s been a rather long day and I feel too drained to shop,” he lied.

“Oh, I see. Well, do get some rest,” Tomoyo replied, smiling a little. “Sakura-chan and I are nearly done with our Christmas shopping and we will be meeting mother. Perhaps tomorrow you would like to shop with us and complete your Christmas list.

“Or,” she added as an afterthought, “if shopping with women isn’t your scene, Syaoran-kun, Yamazaki-kun, and the others will be glad to have you shop along.”

The twenty-five-year-old young man shook his head. “It’s all right. I wouldn’t want to impose on them. Good evening, Daidouji. Enjoy your shopping.” With that, he bowed to her and started off again, this time more careful not to bump into anybody.

Well? What do you guys think? Sucks, huh? So much for inspiration... T_T

2002-12-10T10:50:00.000+08:00

Ack! NOOOOOOO~!!!!!

I go off to ff.net because I'm feeling good today and I get Lavigne in Slam Dunk?!?!?!?! And no, it's not even a sk8erboi songfic, but it actually has Lavigne starring in it!!!! WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Somebody go murder that girl now, please!?!?!?! I'm starting to get dizzy...

2002-12-04T13:21:00.000+08:00

I want very much to change the blasted layout for the holidays... Grrr...stupid pic won't save as gif!!! ><

In other news: Woke up in the dorm room with Celine Dion's "If Walls Could Talk" playing in the background. I listened and realized that the lyrics would be very fitting for an ElrondxCelebrian one-shot... For those of you who are not familiar, Elrond and Celebrian are characters of J.R.R Tolkien (Of LotR and Silmarillion fame). Elrond and Celebrian are the parents of Elrohir, Elladan, and Arwen Evenstar... I think I will make this fic as proof that I can also fic LotR and not just draw... :)

Ugh! Thank her for my sudden LotR fixation... >< I couldn't help but dream of so many Elves non-stop for the past few nights!!!

Here's a sample of the song:

If walls could talk - oh
They would say 'I want you more'
They would say 'hey - never felt like this before'
And that you would always be
The one for me

If the walls had eyes - my
They would see the love inside
They would see - me
In your arms in ecstasy
And with every move they'd know
I love you so

Well? Should I or should I? :)

2002-11-25T09:10:00.000+08:00

(In Ekai's terms) Social bloggage: Skriana, thanks for commenting and reviewing my SOTN fic. :) If there is anything you need, please let me know. I'll be glad to help you out. ^^

You! Mwahahaha! I KNEW my Alucard fixation would rub off on you! Richter has a nice voice no? Maria's is pretty husky...I wub it! :) Let me know when you plan to start ficcing the Vampire Prince... :)

Charles, thanks for the encouragement via text! :)

In other news: Gonna change this layout pretty soon. Maybe after New Year... I wanna put something yummy! Oh yeah, for those ages 17 and up or for the repressed, I will have my lemon blog up soon. All snippets there will be NC-17 material. Your minds will soon be in the gutter! Mwehehehehehe! >^^<

2002-11-22T12:37:00.000+08:00

*Sigh*

I'm starting to get headaches from being in front of the PC for a long time. Is this my karma for ficcing so much?

Gawd, I hope not! I don't wanna be deprived of my life-support system.

*Too depressed because of the traffic. Will post more later*

2002-11-20T18:13:00.000+08:00

I've been rereading all the fics that I've written so far and I noticed that Underworld Symphony is practically the only one that's of the supernatural genre...

Okay, now I'm SCARED. I'm petrified, because I've never attempted to write a game fanfic before. And also because this is the first time that I'm actually publishing a supernatural fic. The others that I wrote were just too...plain. I trashed and deleted them all...

It doesn't help that I only played SOTN, one of the many installments of Castlevania. I guess I will just have to keep relying on Charliedoggie for facts about the past games of Castlevania.

*Sigh*

Alucard is a complicated and tragic character. I hope I can pull it off. Writing him, I mean. *crosses fingers*

In lighter news: New link is Les!!! Luv ya dahling!

2002-11-19T20:30:00.000+08:00

Muuuh! I made a BIG booboo...

I can't believe I can be SO forgetful...

I only uploaded chapter one of Underworld Symphony to my profile, but I forgot to ADD it as a new chapter to the fic itself...

*ROTFL* Okay, honestly, it's funny of me to forget...hahahaha... *wipes tears from her eyes* I was trying to save up my money so I would have fare for tomorrow's commute and I plumb forgot! Heheheheh...sowee guys! ^^

2002-11-18T20:40:00.000+08:00

Mou! I can't seem to change my commentbox's settings on haloscan... >< just HOW do you change the colors? Help! I wanna change my comment box on this blog as well as use haloscan for my new blog.

2002-11-17T17:00:00.000+08:00

I be working on a special Christmas gift for you, you, you, you, and you!

And although you have seen it, it ain't finished yet! :) So hang on to your hats, guys! I be posting it soon enough...

2002-11-16T13:44:00.000+08:00

You and you!!!

Underworld Symphony is up!

2002-11-15T11:07:00.000+08:00

What's YOUR Writing Style?
brought to you by Quizilla

Hmmm...probably I am...or I could be... ^^

2002-11-11T16:00:00.000+08:00

When I see beautiful art, they trigger two reactions from me...Either I am rendered speechless, or I cry because I am SO not worthy!!! THIS has just proven my point. Yoshitaka Amano, you are a GOD!!! Damn your incredible hands!!!

Here be other evidence of his greatness!!!

2002-11-10T17:39:00.000+08:00

Here be a snippet from UNDERWORLD SYMPHONY, my first real SOTN fic... ^^

And so it came to pass that Adrian Tepes attempted to rid the world of his accursed bloodline one last time...

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

* ~ THOUGHTS ~ *

Do you watch me now, Father? Are you seeing me from the Gates of Hell where I cast you?

Yes, I shall once again pass into slumber and relieve the world of this blood that flows through me. 'Tis my curse and my gift, but 'tis one thing I shall not burden mankind with.

I do this in honor of my mother, Lisa Tepes, who long forgave you and loved you even until her death by the fire of the same humans you used as sacrifice for your evil pleasure.

I do this for the Belmont Clan, for long have they opposed your evil and dared to stop it from spreading.

I do this for the world, to give them a glimmer of hope. Yes, Father, to give them hope.

And I do this for the Renard woman, whose pure soul I shall not allow myself to taint. I do love that woman, Father. The life that pulses within her is innocent and though it pains me, I must not go near her for fear of cursing her blood just as you have cursed mine.

Forgiveness...

Did I learn to forgive those who persecuted my mother? Despite the pain I bore being witness to her death, I could not lay a finger on those who could not understand. My mother's only crime was to give love to one who could only bring hate and despair, yet they burned her, torturing me by letting me watch her die.

But I could not lay a finger because my loyalties were tangled. I was made to know that I was a heretic, cast out by the villagers because I was a child of a human and a vampire. And yet I could do them no harm, for they were, perhaps, more lost and confused than I could ever be.

I was loyal to you because you were my father and you were the man who gave me my powers, teaching me how to use them to the fullest of my abilities. But your soul was dark, empty...

I was loyal to my mother, because in her, I had my solace. She was the comfort I often sought, soothing me with the whispering melodies of her voice and her words, her stories of dragons and knights, of fair maidens in distress...

Was I wrong for siding with humans when I finally came to a decision? Was I wrong because I swore to remember my mother's last words before she ceased to live?

I do not know if I was wrong, but the anger I felt for you is no longer there, only pity because you did not see how my mother had died, with a smile on her lips, professing her undying love for you despite your wickedness...

Hope.

Man always dares to hope, foolishly sometimes, and yet he remains strong. As long as his heart beats, he will continue to hope. It is for this reason that I still live, Father. My heart is both vampire and human, and as long as it continues to give me life, I will always hope that you will someday change...

Castlevania is no more, Father. And if the time comes that the evil shall once again arise, I shall be there to stop you.

As I have always been doing for the last three centuries...

2002-11-06T10:45:00.000+08:00

I am honored to have you as my imouto... ^^ I hereby solemnly swear to take care of you at all costs...

Hahahah...enough with the formalities... :)

Since you have been nothing but wonderful, I shall take you under my wing as my imouto-chan...^^

2002-11-05T20:13:00.000+08:00

Mou! I look at her blog and her blog and I am always reminded of how crappy my HTML, java, and css skills suck! ><

Cwap.

I am SO not worthy of them... ^^

2002-11-05T16:52:00.000+08:00

Which Element Represents You?
created by kefkafanatic @ mental insanity

No kidding! I thought I was an EARTH sign, what with being a Virgo and all... I was even expecting WATER since I love that element, too... Oh well... ^^

2002-11-05T13:37:00.000+08:00

New links for ta-day!

Refe-chan and meemee!!! :)

2002-11-02T12:04:00.000+08:00

Just posted One Love...go read... ^^

2002-10-31T19:42:00.000+08:00

ANOTHER EXCERPT FROM PREGNANCY

She grabbed her husband by the collar just before another contraction hit.

"Kaede, solamente quiero que usted sepa... ¡AQUEL ESTE EMBARAZO ENTERO ES RAZONES PARA EL DIVORCIO! ¡¿Y usted es un hijo de puta despiadado para hacerme esto, usted se entera?!"

Hanamichi looked over at the Kitsune, who visibly winced. "I take it you understand what she's saying."

"I've lived with her for more than a year already and spent enough time with her side of the family. How else do you expect me to know?!"

"Getting chatty aren't we..."

"Just pull my kid out, do'aho..." Kaede growled.

"¿Ah, olvidé de decirle que usted es también un bastardo para inflarme? ¡Usted y su semilla! ¡Esto es toda su falta!" Maléna screamed in the middle of another contraction, crushing Kaede's hand until he was certain he heard his bones cracking...

2002-10-31T14:40:00.000+08:00

Ekai just told me about a certain girl...Mataku! I'm mad again! Grrr....!!!

Kid, you better watch out. I happen to be an almighty op and you're just a lowly chatter!

You have been warned!

2002-10-29T20:44:00.000+08:00

Fics that I am working my ass on would be:

Porsuite de la Lune - because I love Rurouni Kenshin and because I want to write WAFF again. =^.^=

Desesperado - because it is my first original fic to actually get past the diskette and hard drive stage and then get re-written before it finally gets posted.

Rebel - because an Alternate Universe Gundam Wing fanfic always appeals to me, especially where Heero and Relena are concerned. ^^

Unfaithful Heart - because I love the Usagi - Seiya pairing and Mamoru is too cold for me.

Someone Else's Story - because I love that song and it's beautiful for RK.

Do You Know Where You're Going To? - because 1xR is always beautiful and Heero has the right to go OOC sometimes.

One Love - because Karen Carpenter has a great voice and I want Ekai to be happy for Eriol and Tomoyo here.

Don't Let Me Break Apart - because it's a LEMON and because it's CCS and slightly AU.

Underworld Symphony - because I love playing SOTN and Alucard is a beautiful and handsome dhampire. :)

Happy? Let me know!

2002-10-29T19:06:00.000+08:00

The Harry Potter Fortune-Teller

No kidding!

2002-10-29T15:12:00.000+08:00

Break My Heart or Heal It for Ekai...I promise I'll have your lemon ready soon! ^^

2002-10-27T19:32:00.000+08:00

Made another angst fic for her...It's GWing. But it turns WAFF in the end, since I promised her WAFF...

Lemons are taking their toll on me.

Still whipping up the website into good shape...

Gonna eat chocolate and go to bed...

Tomorrow is another day...

*sigh*

2002-10-25T18:30:00.000+08:00

This time, let me take the time to rant...

Someone has been demanding that I keep updating All in the Game. Someone has been demanding that I keep updating My Pointe Shoes, Your Basketball. Someone has been demanding that I update Risk All for Love. Someone has been demanding that I create sequels for my supposedly one-shot fics.

Can I say something here?

First of all, it's hard for me to write when I'm pressured. Unless I'm really being lazy and I refuse to fic, I can't take the pressure. Second of all, it's my fic, not anybody else's. How I want it to turn out is my business, not anybody's. So PLEASE stop going about trying to write the story for me. I appreciate your help, but it's MY fic, not yours. Thirdly, the reason why my characters die is because I have a purpose for them dying. I don't want them reincarnated so they can meet again because it defeats the entire purpose for why I made that fic. I wanted to get a point across and let it stay that way.

Look, I know the suspense kills you, but it's also not my fault if I run into a brick wall. So please, let me stay in my corner and just stare for a while. I have no intention of letting these fics die. I'll shoot myself if that happens. Writing is my lifeblood, writing is what I want to do. It is what I love and it will remain that way as long as I exist and deal with my existence.

I'm happy that you think I'm good, I'm happy that you read what I work on and enjoy it. Despite the fact that I don't receive any royalty checks for what I do, I am happy because I made you happy. But please understand that I have so much on my mind and I also have a life outside of ficcing...

2002-10-25T14:49:00.000+08:00

REBEL (Gundam Wing AU)

Heero Yuy is a war hero. Returning home to Alabama after the long war with Britain's Redcoats, and succeeding in liberating America from England's cruel grip, he finds his ranch burned to the ground.

So, he moves to Arkansas. And he builds his new ranch, ready to start a life of freedom.

Of course, he doesn't realize that he'll be starting another war...this time with the beautiful and rich Relena Peacecraft, heiress to a sprawling fifty-hectare farm.

Despite what her brother says about Heero Yuy's participation in liberating America, Relena remains adamant in her refusal to accept the strange war hero as their neighbor.

Ladies and gentlemen, watch as the sparks fly.

2002-10-23T11:46:00.000+08:00

Porsuite de la Lune (Rurouni Kenshin AU)

She's a practical businesswoman, the epitome of high class. She's got no time for love and romantic, girlish notions.

He's a struggling artist, a dreamer, the type to dabble in romance. He wants to show her forever.

They're as different as night is to day...but their hearts will be forever twined by one thing and one thing alone: LOVE

2002-10-22T21:12:00.000+08:00

DESESPERADO (An original fic)

A ruthless outlaw to some, a heroine to others, the rider known as Lady Death has never been caught...The heart of stone she possesses has yet to bleed...the walls of ice around her have yet to melt.

In a time where bullets were exchanged instead of words, where the only way to be truly free was to break every law, one woman will rise out of the ashes to lead humanity into a new world...

2002-10-22T12:07:00.000+08:00

Unfaithful Heart (A Sailormoon fic I should have finished a loooooong time ago!)

Making love to Endymion was always cold. So detached and so formal. There was nothing to spark her basic instincts. But Seiya on the other hand, offered so much more...

With him, she let go of her inhibitions...with him she was wanton.

2002-10-22T08:01:00.000+08:00

Yay! Thanks Ekai! I finally got the pic up! Kawaii ne? I'm gonna look for anime pics so I can change that one when I want to. But for now, I love it! :)

2002-10-20T08:21:00.000+08:00

Excerpt From My Worst Nightmare (GWing/SD Crossover)

As Sendoh dribbled the ball, he observed the reticent boy guarding him. 'Hmmm...short and scrawny...not much of a threat,' he thought to himself and smiled.

However, as soon as he did, Heero whipped out his trusty magnum from *ahem* somewhere in his spandex shorts and trained it on Sendoh's face. His next words caused a chill to run down the spiky-haired boy's spine.

"Stop smiling or I'll blow your brains out."

Without hesitation, Sendoh gave him the ball...

"Hn," Heero replied, dashing up to the board to score another point for Shohoku...

2002-10-19T17:32:00.000+08:00

This thing has a comment box now, minna...which means, GET YOUR FINGERS IN TYPING MODE. =^.^=

2002-10-19T14:02:00.000+08:00

Excerpts From Parenthood Volume 1 - Pregnancy

"Uhhh...Maléna?"

The red-haired and now red-faced woman groaned and looked up at him. "Yes?"

"How many kids were you planning to have?"

"Two," came the exasperated answer.

Hanamichi looked like he was about to burst into a fit of laughter. "Were you guys planning to have them at the same time?"

"........"

2002-10-19T13:39:00.000+08:00

Yay! It's finally fixed! Yahoo!!!!

I just have to post up a really nice piccie to get everything going! :)

2002-10-08T10:34:00.000+08:00

In order to REALLY get my muse working and get its ass off procrastinating, I've decided that I'd really make my muse its very own log. So, if you're wondering why I have 2 blogs, one isn't mine. I assure you, my muse will be the one writing everything here, not me. I'm busy with my own blog...